Upon learning of the death of a family member, friend or colleague, it is common to contact a member of the family to express condolences and offer help and assistance. As a general rule, the closer your relationship to the bereaved, the sooner you should contact him or her. It may not display this or other websites correctly. Your are already subscribed for Malayala Manorama News Letter/Alert. Hindu funerals usually take place within 24 hours of death. One needs to observe at least 10 to 30 days of mourning. Keep your friend informed and get her feedback. Then, organize help with phone calls and the preparation of a newspaper announcement. By merely being there, listening and taking care of the details, you'll undoubtedly be a great help to her during this sad time. Avoid the eating of certain foods, like sweets. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register. Family members have an open invitation to attend the service. It is customary and appropriate to visit the family at home, especially during the days following the funeral. E-mail is a immediate way to reach out and say, "I'm sorry. If you do, it may cause an annoyance as the family or funeral director will have to . Are others going to be speaking about her? Please, search or browse our comprehensive online etiquette articles. Sacrifice is not uncommon for Hindus, even if internalized. We cannot give you customized advice on your situation or needs, which would require the service In either case, develop a list of questions that your friend will need to answer. Funeralflowerssingapore.com always satisfies increasing requirements of customers. Though etiquette is slowly changing, custom has usually dictated that those attending a visitation or funeral should wear semi-formal clothing. https://www.learnreligions.com/healing-words-for-tragic-times-1770148. Hinduism, like other great religions, has specific rituals for honoring the deceased and addressing a family's grief. Doing away with anything that suggests we are arriving at a party is sensible. This period usually lasts for 10 days. Dr. Vasudha Narayanan, Professor of Religion at the University of Florida and. Some friends have the knack for hitting all the right notes and saying all of the right things. Rather than ask Do you need anything it is better to be specific about what we can do for them. 9. There are all kinds of people in the world with vastly contrasting belief systemseach convinced that theirs is the right version. While it can be difficult to know just what to say to someone who has experienced a death, many people who have experienced a death appreciate being contacted. While every group has slightly different funeral practices, theres a general set of funeral rites that all follow in this community. Everything will be fine is another pass phrase where both the speaker and listener know its a lie. In the United States, cremation needs to be performed only by a licensed crematory. Available to ship anywhere in the U.S. After the cremation service, the family will return home and perform Hindu death rituals such as ceremonial bathing. Although Hindus take solace in their belief in reincarnation and liberation, they still experience grief. There are almost never any honorary pallbearers at the funeral of a Christian woman, but at a Jewish funeral both men and women may have honorary pallbearers. Support the family with thoughtful and appropriate Hindu sympathy meals, baskets and memorials. Every one of the rituals within the Hindu ceremonies is a reality check to help us confront our grief, interact with it, accept it and keep going on--both in life and spiritually.". Recalling a good deed that the person did, but the family was perhaps unaware of, can be particularly heart-warming. However, mourners should check with the family or the funeral director to find out what's appropriate for the funeral they are attending. On behalf of this community, I would like to offer our heartfelt condolences and prayers to your entire family. Traditional stereotypes have shifted in other, more suburban areas of India. Hindu - A gift of fruit for the family is the appropriate gift. She was neatly dressed and even had her hair put up. In general, it is never inappropriate to dress in a way that reflects respect and sorrow for the somber moments of mourning a loss. With that, parents will often go to great lengths to ensure the success of their families. Whilst it is favourable to do this within 24 hours, it is widely accepted amongst the Hindu community that the administrative process will take longer in the UK. While visiting the bereaved, our focus should remain completely on the departed, and the grieving family. It is appropriate to visit the home of the family as anexpression of comfort and support. Whether we are comfortable with it or not, visiting bereaved families is part of living in society. Amy Wolkenhauer, BA in English/Creative Writing, https://www.indiatoday.in/information/story/deepest-condolence-messages-very-helpful-in-grief-1657386-2020-03-19, Hindu death traditions, rituals & beliefs. Talk to your friend's family. The body of the deceased should be released as quickly as possible to enable the family to prepare for the funeral. Eastern Orhtodox During the period before burial (three days after death), flowers may be sent to the funeral home. Weapons do not cut this Spirit, fire does not burn it, water does not make it wet, and the wind does not make it dry. If this cultural shift is your cousins history, it might be appropriate to mention that distinction to honor them both after offering condolences. The Spirit cannot be cut, burned, wet, or dried. (2020). Are you sure he is dead?, You are lucky you have one other child who is alive!, I used to tell her to eat less and exercise more often. There is an intense period of mourning immediately following the cremation or burial service which lasts thirteen days. It is a common slip-up for people to assume that sharing their own religious beliefs would bring solace to the bereaved family. Neha Kakkar, Rohanpreet's honeymoon at Atlantis Dubai costs Rs 90,000 a night? We believe reflecting on our mortality can help us lead more meaningful lives. Visitors are expected to bring fruit. Decide upon the best way to get the word out to friends and relatives about the service. Cremation rituals may vary in different places. Some people in India may denounce being Hindu, but their lifestyle may suggest that they still live like a traditional Hindu. That being said, our approach to the bereaved cannot be generalised beyond a point; each situation is unique, as is each family. Mourners dress, eat, and behave austerely during the ten to thirty days after the death and before the shraddha ceremony. Everyone has to wear white, including the family members and guests. If you want to do something now, send a donation as suggested by the family. It is important to avoid language bloopers like hearty condolences, a common error in this part of the world. After a person succumbs to illnesses such as cancer, some visitors make public assertions about magical cures that have no scientific validity, claiming that the person could have been alive through such means. Need Immediate Service? 12. What customs and traditions should I be aware of so that I can be respectful? Some traditions will not allow for a wedding to take place during the year. This period of time is rooted in traditional beliefs, with each of the day being divided into "minor days" (4 days for each week). As hard as it can be to believe, some overly curious visitors have the tendency to interrogate the family about the cause of death. There is a gathering of family and friends who are grieving. I'm here for you." Thank the family for offering the honor to you. Through cremation, the five basic elements, known as thepanchbhut, are returned to the universe, signifying the maintenance of cosmic equilibrium. If You're More Casually Acquainted With The Person Who Died Or The Bereaved In this sect of Hinduism, theres no food or drink offered to the family for up to 10 days. While silence is perfectly acceptable, a few well-chosen, soft words of comfort can help ease the pain. Certain Hindus may choose to remain at home during the mourning period and not visit the temple. Good behaviours while visiting the bereaved. During the initial communication with the family or familys representative, the details surrounding the funeral, burial and memorial service may be obtained. There, husbands and wives increasingly share household roles as dual-earners. The Emily Post Institute Inc. is a fifth generation family business that has been promoting etiquette based on consideration, respect and honesty since Emily Post wrote her first book ETIQUETTE in 1922. If the bereaved person would rather speak to someone they dont know or needs additional support, specialist bereavement support services (see below) are available. The family should be consulted about any jewellery and religious symbols that need to be left in place. For some cultures, a soft hug is appropriate, while for others a gentle squeeze of the hand will do. The ashes are usually scattered in a local river or the sea or maybe taken to India to be scattered in any one of the holy rivers, such as the Ganga. 2. Then go with your intuition. Hindu death rituals involve chanting of certain mantras, which are written especially to be chanted at funerals. It is also appropriate in Hindu tradition to send sympathy gifts. This link will open in a new window. Introduction to Hindu Funerals. Whether you are going to a, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Parent, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Sibling, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Friend, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Partner or Spouse, Hindu Condolence Messages for the Loss of a Child. Close friends who are invited to attend will receive a personal invitation to the event. Everyone in this community respected your father. Another option is to ask a close relative or friend to write some notes on your behalf. Although their intent might be good, it doesnt always work that way. They cannot visit the family shrine and are not allowed to enter any sacred place, such as a temple. The Hindu mourning period (sutak) typically lasts ten to thirteen days and includes various rituals, such as prayers and preparing certain foods, depending on the particular Hindu tradition of the family. A compassionate gesture is often all thats needed while visiting the acutely bereaved. Although not a good idea immediately after the passing, subsequent visits with the family can be enlivened by conversation about the good memories we had together with the person. Wild boar hunters; Why few respond to Forest Dept notice, Facebook, Instagram launch AR effect featuring Kohli, Champions League: Juventus, Barca, Chelsea through to last 16, Damandeep Singh Soni: Rowing boAt in the challenging waters of marketing, Renault to launch compact SUV Kiger in Jan-Mar 2021, Entrepreneurship can be cultivated at any age, any time: Ankita Mallika Bansal, Opt for featherweight jeans to blend style and comfort, 'Jallikattu' India's Oscar entry for Best International Film, Jayasurya completes 100th movie in Malayalam cinema, Digital nomads! Malayala Manorama apps - carry the world with you. Once Nirvana is attained, the reincarnation cycle ends. 8. When it comes to jewelry, they should not wear anything flashy and keep it light. For a parent, sons and daughters are equally precious. I am sorry for your loss. If you are a colleague or acquaintance: Send an email or handwritten note immediately. Don't forget that you can also e-mail your coworker to express your thoughts before you write your condolence note. When someone experiences the loss of a loved one, visiting the bereaved in person is a thoughtful way to convey the deepest sympathy and offer support. . Thats why cremation is preferred. This depends on personal preferences. This is an important death ritual, which usually takes place throughout the mourning period. advice. Though the above list is handy, we need to be extraordinarily perceptive and must have the ability to adapt according to the mood and vibe prevailing in each instance. Making a phone call or a visit can mean a lot during such times. Good and bad manners do exist about visiting the bereaved, albeit with some variation between cultures. JavaScript is disabled. Although attitudes and risk tolerances vary, no sane parent would knowingly do anything that would harm their child. 14. Sleep is a basic bodily need, and lack of it can take a person down in no time. During this time, some of the traditions will limit or restrict participation in festivals and events, as well as discourage making life-altering decisions like changing jobs or moving. One of the worst bloopers and a bane of modern technology when not done right, taking unsolicited photographs is a total no-no at a home where death has just occurred. Hindu Quotes of Condolence and Healing. Duplicate and frame favorite photo (s) of your loved one for family gifts. You can also include a poem, passage or anything else you feel reflects your friend's life. The dos as well as the donts are important. Traditionally, the Hindu funeral ceremony involves a ritual burning of the deceased body. His commitment to creating a better world was apparent in every project he started. If your relationship to the bereaved or the person who died is more casual, it may be best to wait until the wake, funeral or memorialservice, or after the funeral to reach out. The Bhagavad Gita says that the bodys destiny is to die. Those who are close to the family may volunteer to do such tasks. Few people are comfortable visiting a home where death has just occurred. The urge to dish out free advice and meaningless platitudes must be resisted. Good Thinking provides a range of resources to help Londoners improve their mental wellbeing. Often there will be some open visitation for an hour or so just prior to the funeral service. There is a Mukhagni ceremony where the family is given one last look at the deceased. If you decide to let her attend, prepare your daughter by letting her know what the service involves and address any questions she may have. She'll let you know, when you ask, whether or not she wants to see you and or needs anything. Throughout this time, families may display a picture of their loved one, adorned with a garland of flowers, somewhere in their house. Most of the Hindu mourning rituals performed are designed to promote the free expression of emotions. As there is no room for error, it is better to go prepared than be caught by surprise not knowing how to respond in such situations. How can people of the Hindu faith be supported when grieving? Financial and logistics assistancewhere acceptable and appropriatecan be a big relief. Hare Krishna. It also conveys an understanding that while there is a cycle to life, there is only one reality. It is best to make the enquiries on the day of death, and remain close to the bereaved and assisting them.If this is not possible, one can visit the house on even days except monday, tuesday and friday., even the monday is an even day thanjavur dist. A thoughtful gift which allows the name of the deceased to be mentioned will provide long-lasting comfort to the family. In such situations too, it is helpful to remember that no hospital would knowingly do anything that could harm the patient. After all, some of the wisest people can almost convey a book in a matter of a sentence. The traditions and rites of Hindu funerals may vary. You could certainly send her a personal note expressing your condolences. During the weeks and months of loneliness that follow, especially after the crowds disperse, the bereaved person might feel that the world is avoiding them. For example, chewing loudly with an open mouth and talking with ones mouth full of food are considered bad table manners not because the offender has a problem with it, but because the others would find it repulsive. If there is no relationship with the family, introduce yourself and briefly explain your relationship with the deceased. Since you know that his mother likes lilies, you might want to wait a bituntil the activity immediately following your co-worker's death settles downand then send her the lilies. Moments with the family will usually be driven by the number of people waiting to offer their condolences. During this time, because the family of the deceased is considered impure, they are bound by several rules of behavior. Generally, only people who are particularly invited to the shraddha ceremony will attend. There is a tendency to judge whether the person deserved to die the way he or she did. Hare Krishna. Remember, the subject of your eulogy is the person's best qualities, not your feelings. May Lord Krishna grant you strength. That said, its the intent alongside the words that mean the most to nearly anyone. In Hinduism, theres samsarathe continuous cycle of reincarnation. What to do: Mourners may dress casually. According to my calculations based on astrology, he could not have chosen a better time to die is another example of saying the wrong thing in the wrong place at the wrong time. If there is a line waiting to see the family, keep your thoughts and comments brief. Such dramatic statements serve no useful purpose to anybody except perhaps the perpetrator. Those who are emotionally close to the bereaved person may quietly ask How are you and give them a chance to express their feelings. This forum contains old posts that have been closed. This may include feelings of shock, sadness, and even guilt. New threads and replies may not be made here. Others go the extra mile and debate whether the person might actually make it to heaven or settle for hell. Work from your dream country on a remote visa, A peek into where heads of various countries reside across the globe, This Diwali, try our tasty banana pudding recipe, Heal Thy Self | Early warning signs you could be in an abusive relationship, On yoga day, Krishnaprabha is an inspiration. Mourners customarily choose to wear simple, white clothing to the funeral, although this is not a religious requirement, and a Hindu priest usually leads the prayers. A Hindu priest is an officiant, who presides over all Hindu funeral rites. However, the following brief and simple condolences will let the grieving family know you care: We are sober, we are really sad about his sudden departure, May the Creator accept our prayers on his behalf. Determining the best time to contact the bereaved generally depends on your relationship to the bereaved or the person who died. Loss is hard. Additionally, they are not to touch or go near the family shrine. Whats regionally accepted in Southern India, for example, may not be appropriate or even standard in the North. With this in mind, here are a few ideas for what to write in a. Those who are close to the grieving family can gently make sure that they dont miss their meals. May she rest in peace. It is also appropriate to visit the home of the family to offer comfort and support. Viewing the body is not mandatory, but is usually considered respectful if the casket is open and displayed near the family. It is helpful to remember that this is not a place where attendance gets marked, and definitely the last place to be soliciting ones business regardless of what it might be. This is made worse when people pick the phone up and start talking at the top of their voice as though they were at a party. 82 Telok Blangah Dr, #01-43, Singapore 100082, Copyright 2021/22 Funeral Flower Singapore | www.funeralflowerssingapore.com, 199+ Heartfelt and Deepest Condolences Messages For The Bereaved, 50+ Sincere Christian Condolence Message For Loss of Loved One, Funeral Ceremony Traditions of Different Religions in Singapore. Here, the priest oversees every activity. Weather conditions, circumstances and setting of the funeral, and religious and cultural traditions may affect the choices for clothing made. Any distractions must be shrugged away until we are out of sight, and away from earshot. All Rights Reserved. Household items like decorative rugs, afghans and blankets make appropriate gifts to honor the memory of the loved one. The mourning period lasts for 10 days after the death. Today, many take their ashes to a nearby place to their home. Its important not to confuse peace and speed here, as. Many users would be better served consulting an attorney than using a do-it-yourself online is the best and appropriate choice. Rather than quoting the Bhagavad Gita directly, you can also take its essence and interpret that into something meaningful. This short message gets to the essence of the Hindu faith in just a few short words. Unfortunately, blaming the healthcare establishment is a convenient way to vent the inevitable anger and grief. E-mail shouldn't replace a handwritten condolence note, but it's a nice way to let your coworker that you're there for her. During subsequent visits, suggestions can be offered, but only when sought by the family. The coffin is generally open, and guests are expected to look upon the body and be seated in the room for the service, which is conducted by a priest or a senior member of the family. As author Arvind Sharma writes, Hinduism is not a thing; it is a process. He would more or less characterize Hinduism as a method or temperament. 24/7 +65 9135 4444 Dismiss. It is believed that free expression will keep the body healthy, instead of bound by mourning and unresolved anger. Once the major decisions have been made, visit, or at least speak with, the person performing the service. In this sect of Hinduism, there's no food or drink offered to the family for up to 10 days.