16/12/2017 05:17. My hubby is a talker, too. Ahh, those were the days I bet he misses me. With our third, he asked me to stretch out the pushing for 55 minutes so he would win the money pot at work. In addition, you should also come up with a list of goals that you want to achieve as a couple once you are done with treatment so that you can lead a more productive and happy life together. Its amazing he still had the equipment to impregnate me one more time time!!!! Im in labor! I cleaned the house again. Well, it was getting late, and his sister called to see how things were going, and he smiled affectionately at me and told her that the contractions werent too bad yet. I know the tone has gotten pretty intense, but it shouldn't interfere with the central message: the behavior you're describing in your husband is binge drinking, and the more often he does it, the worse off your family will be. I think there should be another thread about crap husands pull after the baby is born. The birth of our child is not about him, it's about me and the baby. We couldnt wake him up, he was barely opening his eyes when the baby crowned. omg, i totally broke out in huge loud laughter when i read this.in a silent room at that. Look up the options available to you, enlisting help if you need backup, and have a hopeful, serious plan ready so there's no excuse for him to say no. You have much bigger issues and should seriosly consider looking into alanon. He would still have had alcohol in his system and in hindsight, a cab or ambulance would have been a better mode of transport. What happens if you have an emergency at home one night and your husband is drunk? So, feeling AOK, we walked up the hill to the party, socialised and I left Phil to continue cooking sausages and shooting the shit and took the other two kids home around midnight. These are all way worse than mine, but my husband insisted that my then 19 hours of labor was not *real* labor because my contractions were not evenly spaced apart like the book says and did not think it was necessary for me to go to the hospital when I could no longer stand the pain. (Hopefully it won't have to go there but if the nice and logical angle doens't work you may have to come on a little strong) IMO. I would be concerned about YH having 5 drinks in one night on a regular basis. Youve done this before. The nurse had him switch out for my best friend and he scooted over to sit next to me on the bed and just as a nurse pushed a trash can in front of him he proceeded to PUKE LOUDLY next to me on the bed while I was in transition! Im late to the party but here is a story for you I guess I had it pretty good! DH is not allowed to drink at all right now..my life and his unborn child are going to be in his hands when he drives me to the hospital. I can't believe the ridiculously stupid things being said to defend alcohol abuse here. You should also make sure to spend quality time with each other and remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place. After 26 hours of Oxytocin induced labour our son arrived and my hubby had the balls to say jokingly Well, at least we know hes hers! There was never any doubt about paternity, it was just his stupid sense of humour. While having my first son, I tore from one end to the other. She drives me to my place, which looks surreal in the morning light. It also gives you a sense of control and confidence when you are working with your husband or partner on recovery. Thats it, just shut up and he was infuriated. Wear sneakers. When I told my boyfriend it was time to go, he said he needed to take a shower and shave. And in the US, up to thirty-eight million people have an alcohol addiction at some point in their lives. By the time we got up to labor and delivery, I was completely dilated but my water hadnt broken. -Tifffany, My husband took so many pictures of himself in the scrubs and mask (obviously super important to document) the camera battery was almost dead when we actually had the baby! that actually is true, no one under a certain age . E had a little trouble at first and I needed stitches, so DH stayed with us until 2am before he ran home to let our dogs out to go to the bathroom and he never did tell me if he needed to clean anything up while he was there! He asked me to please give him a signal before I had a contraction (and they were, oh, 90 seconds apart) so he could mute the call in time. I said the baby is coming now. He replied that he didnt feel so well. He was only slightly better with our third. I HAVE to join in here. When I was younger and unmarried, I had a boyfriend who was often kind of rude to me in social situations. After our first they were sewing me up from some tearing. Im so fed up that I almost want a divorce. I mean, my husband was blotto, passed out beside me. Sure, hopefully, the baby will change everything, but you still need to speak up to help him see the problem with this behavior and offer to support him as he works to change it. I dont remember anything I said or did after that. Why do I remember the date so well? I have been with my husband for 10 years, married for four, and he has a drinking problem.We met in our early 20s and started our relationship long-distance.I relocated to the UK and we moved in . The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that, you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior. It sounds like you and your H are both in denial (as apparently are a few other posters on this thread). He normally goes to the pub every Friday, not too late. He will have a beer or two these days, but knows not to get drunk during my last few weeks of pregnancy. She thought she had just peed her pants, but it kept happening everytime she stood upso off we went to the hospital, and she was definately in labor. Finally he gets into town, horses and all in the hospital parking lot, smelling like a branding! Its never easy to be with an alcoholic husband, but these things can surely help. Not sure of this counts but after I had the baby I realized I forgot to pack underware so I told my husband to bring me a pair. So if he wont agree to give up the drinks then you should have someone as a backup coach that can stand in for him. I jumped on board. "With . According to the World Health Organisation. They can give you tips and suggestions on dealing with an alcoholic husband and the challenges that can arise during the recovery process. When it comes to dealing with an alcoholic husband in denial, speaking to them about the issue in length seems a better option. By the way, he would never drive while drinking, he thought it would be completely fine to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital if he's drunk. With my 1st son, my husband wanted to take a shower before we left for the hospital. Wondering how? Besides, alcoholic people need reasons to blame people for their condition. My wife was not pleased. With my second I was in labor through the night, his dad kept asking if he could go home to sleep because I didnt need him there, he missed his bed and the hospital staff was disrupting his sleep. I asked for all the ridiculous stuff your husbands pulled while you were in labor. Both those incidents still come up at family get togethers. It was one of the biggest events in . After a long labor and birthing a 10 lb baby naturally, my husband, told me that the room smelled like a deer was gutted in it. You notice a mucusy discharge or "bloody show". He hasn't had one drink since that night because he knows I'm serious. Eileen, My husband went duck hunting and forgot to charge his cell phone. But still no medal. Its evident that you are stupid man and you cant fix stupid. He took one too many wrong turns and we ended up in a dodgy end of town. However, he also started to diet right around the same time, so I think that helped. So say he is out for a work meeting until 6, and he had 2 glasses of wine. Promote a quicker postpartum recovery. I know what it feels like! Thanks for sticking with us for a full year. Needless to say, when, four weeks later he was resting a pack of frozen peas on his testicles from the vasectomy hed breezily put his hand up for, my sympathy levels were small to non-existent. Carol, Id love to know what you did to him between baby 3 and baby 4! There is no pattern. So, do you maintain the rage? Then 14 hours and a baby boy later, he called to let everyone at the office (a family business) know the good news. I think I'm always stopping to prepare for the recipients reaction. She just had another baby and he quit drinking 4 weeks before her due date just to be safe. Mortified. I'm worried, because I NEED a good labor coach to achieve my goal of a natural birth, but if the whole process begins with me being incredibly pissed at a buzzed DH, I will fail. I get all the credit for being an awesome stepdad and none of the crap over what got screwed up during labor. A man can metabolize 2 drinks a day. During pregnancy, the cervix stays closed and plugged up with mucus (aptly called the "mucus plug"). lol. My guess is that most husbands sort of enjoy seeing their wives suffering a little bit, especially if it was the wife nagging to have the child. A simple rule for when to go to the hospital for labor is the 5-1-1 rule. Its a natural tendency to try and take control of the alcoholic husband in order to make things right. Around 2am, I heard the scraping of a badly manoeuvred BBQ onto the deck and felt my husband flop down beside me into the bed. Glad she was there for you. The husband was just getting off work when we found out I needed the surgery (4 weeks early with twins). I come into the living room and give her a kiss. The 25-year-old Los Angeles Rams wide receiver and his wife, Samaria Jefferson, welcomed their second baby together on Sunday evening, when Samaria went into labor during the Super Bowl, which Van . However, we did talk about it; and he truthfully would have been so embarrassed to call and ask his mom (or my parents) to drive me to the hospital if need be, because he wouldn't feel comfortable driving. My husband to me, You are loosing it. My husband said that I should be more in pain, but I convinced him that we should still go to the hospital to get it checked, and that the worst thing that could happen was to get sent home. With our first child, he made me wait until the show Charlies Angels was done before leaving for the hospital. And then I was really shocked when talking with an older lady at church who told me she went into labor naturally on Dec. 31, 1964, and the maternity ward was . Around 4:30 Sunday morning, I start pushing. -Parisa, When it was time to go to the hospital, my husband said he needed to shower and shave first. Suffer, dear. When they called my room at 3 am to go nurse her, my husband declined to go with me because he was just so tired after everything that happened that day. Im sure his parents saw far more than they ever hoped to see, and Ive never let him live it down. Remember, youre not to be blamed for their habit. Last week, I made a simple request on the Mommy Shorts fanpage. Hours in labor: Never went into labor! Were going to pop some bottles the celebrate the twins arrival. One of the major issues that you, as the wife of an alcoholic husband, may face is awkward situations in public or family gatherings. Once labor begins, it can take between 10 to 24 hours (or more) to progress through the three stages of labor before your baby is born. I had to be induced. I didnt even realise I was annoyed about this, nor did I particularly want to be, but it just kind of snuck up on me. It wasnt until I went into labor in the middle of the night that I realized he dropped the ball. yep, i paint with a broad ass brush. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. -- A pregnant doctor unexpectedly went into early labor while delivering another woman's child. I felt bad,infact still feeling vexed, Mine did the same thing I had to send my pap out to go buy my undies, Thats why I called my girlfriend to go buy underwear for me, cant trust men with that. Thats when I had to rouse him. So when I couldnt reach him for 40 min, I freaked out. Mines more funny than bad: I went to the hospital 7 weeks early and had an emergency c-section because of HELLP syndrome. Guys like you make it possible for guys like me to find great women and kids. The one thing that you would do at this point is go into denial mode. Imagine youre married to an alcoholic husband who drinks daily and beyond the limit, only to create a nuisance later. However, you can convince them to set certain limits to how much they should be drinking. When in labor, every woman becomes bitchy for the reason that she is in tremendous pain, moron! good luck! Guess who is going to be taking care of the baby all night through? There might have been pee before I got all hooked up. If at all possible, secure a back-up. , around 2% of adults globally have a drinking problem thats over one billion people! Amen. Dad learned something very important about the fathers role in childbirth that day. . That he won't stop for a few weeks while you approach the end of your pregnancy (or forever) is even MORE indicative of that dependency and addiction. Don't do it right after work when he's looking forward to sitting and unwinding. What bugged me was that my husband didnt want to call into work so I was the one who had to meet the girl and her entire family (her, her boyfriend(not the dad), her mom, dad, grandma, step mom, step dad, sister and I think the family dog. You may come across situations where things go beyond your control, and you might end up in an embarrassing situation. I COULDNT actually talk. Check out this video to understand how to get your alcoholic spouse into treatment: Discuss the various treatment options that are available and find the best one for him so that he can get better as soon as possible. a. anna242007. My doctor walked in while he was talking, looked at me still laying on the delivery bed, and told my husband he should probably take care of that later. Get on the same page, then bring up how you are afraid alcohol could affect that. Laughing gas has been widely available for laboring women in other countries, and it's finally making its way to hospitals and . Iowa City Press-Citizen via USA TODAY Network. Once we got to the hospital, though, he was great. As a wife of a recovering alcoholic please listen to what everyone is saying about binge drinking and alcoholism. The worst you could do is take the place of a professional and try to look for solutions to cure it. -Amy, At 3am, I decided it was time to go and my husband said he was getting up to get ready. If that doesn't work,I have two thoughts. I would talk to him on a day he doesn't work like people said, and maybe keep a taxi service on speed dial. In order to do you, you might push your husband to loneliness, which eventually will lead to far more serious issues than now. Away." In hindsight, I love having pictures from the delivery room. He then goes home and sleeps on and off for 10 hours (in between bouts of explosive diahrrea) while Im at the hospital with our first newborn daughter, ALONE. Second, that is way to much drinking for a regular basis. Judging from the two phone calls I had with Uncle B while she was in labor (one in which he was right by her side at the hospital and the other in which he was buying her a box of popsicles), Id say he didnt screw his job up nearly as bad as most of your husbands did. Then I asked him to wake our 3-year-old and get him ready for daycare. In the worst case, you would also want to avoid the situation as much as you can. She had yummy ice chips and broth. While have contractions at home with my 1st child ( it was around 6pm and my contractions were coming every 5min) my husband called up to me from down stairs (I was on all 4s at this point) asking if I was hungry and he was going to order an Indian take-away. We finally make it to the hospital and Im left alone for quite a while and I find out why when he strolls into the room with his lunch of a turkey sandwich, clam chowder soup and soda and he says, dont worry honey, I didnt forget about you, here are your ice chips. He then proceeds to interview and film every nurse that enters the room and when it is time to film the labor, we were out of film, wonder why. I hardly knew my now husband of 11 years at the time (though I already knew he was the one!) I think your husband should be able to handle 3-5 weeks of not drinking in exchange for a healthy baby and wife. Most women will go into labor within 12 hours of their water breaking, but this can happen much sooner. I beleive that 4th pregnancy has got to be my last. Okayjust to show another sidebecause I love this storywith my third we had some complications and had an emergency c section. Allison Leonard/Ilona McCarty. By. Misty, My husband left me, when I was in labor, to go buy a PS3 (it was Black Friday). Drinking several drinks a night to "unwind" after a hard day at work on a regular basis is indicative of a dependency. You know, the stuff you still hold over his head. So I drove the 40 minutes to the hospital solo. Want Mommy Shorts delivered daily or weekly to your inbox? Raspberry Leaf Tea. Nice. Its not that alot of us men are not trying. I stop on the way home to fill up the truck and he calls me back asking if I was serious or if this was just a trail run to see how fast we could get everything readyOMG its not a test this is the real deal! 9 months or so? She told all of the nurses to shut up and leave as she recovered. -Stephanie, My husband started throwing up while I was pushing. My husband has never gotten a drivers license so I had to drive us the 25 minutes to the hospital while dealing with early contractions. One 2013 study, found that even . I stayed at home as long as I could (we live 5mins drive from the hospital). Unfortunately, the emerald fell out when I was in middle school so I bought a new one to replace it. Holy fuuk. Finally after I frantically run around the church for a few mins he calls back in which I tell him get all our pre packed bags and carseat ready to go Im on my way home she is in labor, we lived 4 hours from the birthmom. And often I wonder if this is healthy. She arranged transportation to the hospital from our neighbors. Im straight, but if I ever go into labor Ill probably wish I had a wife. The most common mistake a wife often makes is that she starts blaming herself for her alcoholic husband. With my first I called my then husband to tell him my water broke, he asked if I could drive myself to the hospital so he didnt have to leave work. Having. When a child is born, act up, misbehaves, it is still our child. And then figured hed take care of some business while he was on the line. Nipple Stimulation. If I were you, I would have a back up plan. I hope for the long term something or someone can get through to him so he can find a different way to relax. He told me later he was definitely buzzed but me waking him up was the most sobering thing ever. At that point I told him that if I were to go into labor and he was drunk he WOULD NOT be there for the birth of our baby. -Amy, Mine watched TV with his face pressed against the screen because he couldnt hear it over my pain noises! Baby. I went into labor while he was sitting in the bay, alone in a boat. Damn you to hell. If I could have, I would have stood up and cheered. Baby #1 I was told if my water broke it could be dangerous (I had too much) but i was reassured 80% of womens do not break. Things start with a small incident and can lead to bigger uncontrollable incidences that will only bring shame to you and your family. It was winter so between contractions I had to warm up the car and take my bags out. After the haircut I assume we will be leaving for the hospital and then he informs me he needs to take a shower to get the hair off. I had to wait nearly an hour for my epidural and was 8cm when I got it. You might also explain that it's his baby too, he may want to remember the event. First, would he normally drive after 5 drinks? At 9 am, contractions really kicked in and still no hubby. NOW I have to remind him, when he rolls his eyes knowingly seeing movies where women scream in pain during labor, that it really IS realistic too, even if it was not what he observed! And that he has a choice to make but if he wants to "risk" drinking each night then that's his problem if he isn't there. When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. Woman Had Husband Murdered While She Was In Labor With His Best Friend's Baby. 6/20 She Was Playing Bingo When She Went Into Labor. He called the hospital and they said theyd call him as soon as anything happened. I was in labor half the night and at around 7 am I say to my hubby its time to go to the hospital. I agree not to do it when he's about to grab a drink because then he will just get irritated with you. Among the no nos are the one that forbids his mom and dad and other men to come in during this private time and looking at your birth area. My husband went home the next day and brought me some things, namely a mens xl t-shirt that said Wanna Play Doctor? on it. Individuals with alcoholism may have a number of behavioral and emotional characteristics, including a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. Five drinks regularly to "unwind" isquite a lot. I mean PISSED. We went to the urologist and he laughed out loud when my DH said that he was a moderate drinker and then told him that he usually had 1 or 2 beers a day. Supporting a woman in labor is an incredibly exciting and important role.