Jim Groth's funny and brave obituary. He loved to use his oversized old man remote control, which thankfully survived Hurricane Katrina, to flip between watching The Barefoot Contessa and anything on The History Channel. The family encourages you to don the most inappropriate t-shirt that you are comfortable being seen in public with, as Joe often did. If you thought these quips were good, just check out these funny road signs worth slowing down for. But the laugh comes in when he simply can't keep the good guy act up anymore. The poet mafia came to collect. This is less the funniest obituary you'll ever read and more the sweetest obituary you'll ever read. He particularly hated Day Light Saving Time, which he referred to as The Devils Time. Ever a woman of mystery, she loved her life, family, and friends but would prefer that you not follow her to Bermuda. Add this to this list of quintessential uplifting quotes that stays with you. Jims demise will now allow them to emerge from his shadow. He was a long-time member of the Elks Club in McKees Rocks where he frequently bartended and generously donated his tips to charity. Besides being beautifully written and touching, the obituary is funny and gives you a real insight in Mrs. Philips keen sense of humour. It can also be a healing one. He only stuck it out for one war. Cremation Jewelry: A Fashionable Memorial To Your Loved One, Memorial Service Ideas | Cooking + Foodie Theme, Introducing Meme-orial The Social Media Memorial Card. Oh, and never stop smiling. In the last few years, Big Als short-term memory loss was getting the best of him. Aaron was a comic book aficionado, a pop-culture encyclopedia and always the most fun person at any party. Emily DeBrayda Phillips obituary is hilariously self-written and self-aware about her existence and end: If you want to, you can look for me in the evening sunset or with the earliest spring daffodils or among the flitting and fluttering butterflies. According to her obituarypublished in Toronto Star,cause of death was believed to be from carrying her oxygen tank up the long flight of stairs to her bedroom that made her heart give out.. You see, the youngest of my grand-angels, William Fisher Phillips and Charlie Jackson Phillips call me Nana Banana. She was born, raised, and now rests in Virginiaa swing state. To Disneylandyou can now throw away that Banned for Life file you have on me, Im not a problem anymoreand SeaWorld San Diego, too, if you read this. I am survived by my OG Brenda, Tower Road; my three children, Tyler, Stratford, Ont., Lawrence and his wife, Lisa, St. Marys, Ont. A private family Celebration of Life will be held, in lieu of a service, due to her friends not being able to attend, because they decided to beat her to the Pearly Gates. Also known as the Squirrel Whisperer, he communicated with the local red-tailed squirrels and fed them peanuts out of his hand. Big Al took fashion advice from no one. Bill Eves passed away on February 8, 2014. We think he did it on purpose to avoid having to make a decision in the pending presidential election. Everyone told me it would happen one day but thats simply not something I wanted to hear, much less experience. He also confessed that his PhD was the result of a clerical error and that he still didnt know what PhD stood for. Did you know that Love Lives On has a comprehensive library of articles on grief? The promised land! Fixed everything I wanted to fix. 237 views, 1 likes, 5 loves, 12 comments, 2 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Harris Funeral Directors: Homegoing Service for Minister Beatrice Lee Wiggins. She left behind a hell of a lot of stuff to her daughter and sons who have no idea what to do with it. If you knew me or not, dear reader, I am happy you got this far into my letter. There is no cost to attend. I enjoyed one good life. As a former government and sociology professor for Gulf Coast Community College, Harry was thoroughly interested in politics and religion and enjoyed watching politicians act like preachers and preachers act like politicians. James Jim Groth died on July 28th, 2015, from cancer, but not before he penned the most hilarious obituary ever. since your last visit. Barbara (with Gordon) the ever Miss Perfect and finally Baby Bruce who wouldnt eat homemade turkey soup because he didnt want to be alert looking for bones while he ate. Harry was locally sourcing his food years before chefs in California starting using cilantro and arugula (both of which he hated). Go to a nursing home and kiss everyone. ago. Self-Written Obituary Benjamin Franklin famously wrote a self-obituary in which he referred to himself as "food for worms." Writing your own funny obituary ahead of time can help your loved ones deal with their grief. Toni had four sisters: Patty the elder, Kitty the cook, Lisa the lawyer and Pijithepiji. The obituary starts of by warning readers: If youre about to throw away an old pair of pantyhose, stop. In her father's obituary, Amanda describes her father as a ladies man who didn't take fashion cues from anyone. Her extensive vocabulary was more than highly proficient at knowing more curse words than most people learned in a lifetime. He drifted through the Philadelphia Public School System from 1937 to 1951, graduating, to his mothers great relief, from John Bartram High School in June of 1951. Steves quiet demeanor has provided ballast to an otherwise unstable family. Invite new friends to Thanksgiving dinner. Harry wanted everyone to get back on the Lords Time.. As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June, 1971. Val Patterson died from throat cancer on July 1o, 2012. To the crooks reading this: We left an armed guard and the four killer dogs home from the luncheon. If you come to steal, they will hurt you.. We recommend our users to update the browser. "A plus-sized Jewish lady redneck died in El Paso on Saturday," the article announced - before careening through a thousand words of one of the more outrageous obituaries ever written. In college I worked at Vaughns Conoco on 45th South and 29th East. Johanna was a kind-hearted woman; a loving mother and wife who spoiled her grandchildren without complaint. Put picky-eating children in the box at the bottom of the laundry chute, tell them they are hungry lions in a cage, and feed them veggies through the slats. Obituaries can sometimes come across as a list of factual information that can overlook the life, personality, and impact one had on those around them. Speaking of titlesIve held a few in my day. On its website, the newspaper went into a bit more detail about Legler, writing the 85-year-old died June 27. Emily Philips, a retired teacher, died on March 25, 2015 in Florida. He attained the rank of Sergrant. We were blessed to learn many valuable lessons from Pink during her 85 years, among them: Never throw away old pantyhose. He also took pride in his service during the Korean conflict, serving the rank of corporaljust like Napolean, as he would say. Just two years later when another baby girl was born, I became known as the middle sister of the infamous three Fisher Girls, and the world was changed forever. In fact, he wove tapestry of obscenities that still hangs over the Greater Kingston Area. ), These two are also apt to insist that I get their hiney whenever I visit, and since Im quite skilled in that area, Ive always been able to oblige. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), people couldnt stop sharing this sweet 91-year-olds obituary, creepiest (but real!) We would really like to share some of your best memories of Bill at the Praise Bill Party.. She is not dead. ghost towns on Earth, dark humor like this is your thing, science says you might be a genius, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. As a child I walked to the old Hazelwood Elementary School where teachers like Mrs. McCracken, Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Moody planted the seed that eventually led me to becoming a teacher. Expect to find an alcoholic dog named Judge passed out at his feet. Boiled shrimp and a beverage of your choice should be part of any celebration. Know when to be serious. These words of encouragement, wisdom, and sometimes comfort, kept us in line, taught us the school of hard knocks and gave us something to pass down to our children. She is survived by her three children, who made up the entirety of her world, Gregory (age 9), Matilda (age 7), and Max . What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U of U, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail. But the idea of writing a character who reads the obituaries as a hobby came fromwhere elsesocial media. I cannot begin to imagine not having Dad on the end of a phone or popping around at a moment's notice to assist, in his ever graceful manner, with any project great or small with which I happen to be needing advice or help, or to be with my children, Monica & Jamie. Donna Monteen Smith, age 73, passed away peacefully December 17, 2014 due to diabetes and congestive heart failure. He often said, Theres no explaining taste.. In March of 2014, Rick was diagnosed with lung cancer. So, the world doesnt have Angus MacDonald to kick around anymore. Norma Rae Brewer passed away at 83 years-old while climbing to the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa. But, the one special thing that made my spirit whole, is my long love and friendship with my remarkable wife, my beloved Mary Jane. Let a dog (or two or three) share your bed. Help anyone struggling to get their kids into a car or shopping cart or across a parking lot. He was born in Phila, P.A. And his famous holiday eggnog had enough whiskey to grow hair on your chest. This next hilarious obituary is for an Ontario woman, Sybil Hicks, and was written by her children from her first-person perspective. Remember, newspapers will charge you by line, word . Visitation 6-8 p.m. Thursday, 1-3 and 6-8 p.m. Friday at the Schepner-Mcdermott Funeral Home, Inc., 165 Noble Ave., Crafton, where the Funeral Service will be held 10 a.m. Saturday with interment to follow, with full military honors, in Mount Calvary Cemetery, McKees Rocks. They end the obituary on a more serious note, describing their Mom as the woman who loved life and taught her children to laugh at the days to come'. A funeral is a waste of harrrrrrd earned and harrrrrrd saved money that my family can use now. (It seems that MacDonald found his own regional accent funny. Betty Jo Passmore of Tampa Bay passed away in 2014, and her obituary recounts her love of her family, mystery novels, and dark chocolateand her absolute ire for praise music and A/V presentations. This summer we revisited many of these memorable . She was preceded in death by her loving husband Paul (Moo) Stocks and eldest daughter Shelley (Stocks) Milnes and beloved pets Tag, Tag, Tag and Tag. The family would also like to thank the Gulfport Railroad Center dialysis staff who took great care of him and his caretaker Jameka Stribling. In his funny obituary, which he wrote himself, Patterson confessed: I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June, 1971. Here are five of the funniest obits we've read. Everyone who remembers him is asked to celebrate Walts life in their own way. I went to six different grade schools, then to Churchill, Skyline and the U of U. I loved school, Salt Lake City, the mountains, Utah. Protect Your Loved Ones from Identity & Property Theft, Learn the Inside Scoop on Death Notices & Obituaries. Rick liked to buy food for the car behind him in the drive-thru lane, or a meal for a military couple (if he could do it without them knowing who paid). Also: If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. I feel such the thief now for stealing so much from herthere is no pill I can take to erase that pain. Don't miss early access to tickets, and event updates by joining the TEDxSurrey community. A regular Jane like me or you, Ms. Mary Anne Alfriend Noland passed just six months before the 2016 election, to which her obituary references an extreme aversion. On Saturday February the 8th Molsons stock price fell sharply on the news of Bill Eves passing. Take a look at each obituary below and then apply the lessons learned from these incredible examples to your own obit writing process: William "Freddie" McCullough "The man. Brewer died from hypothermia, after Mia ate Mrs. Brewers warm winter boots and socks. He traveled where he wanted to travel, laughed inappropriately at every chance, learned what he wanted to learn, fix what he wanted to fix and loved who he wanted to love. However, you still need to be accurate in terms of certain facts. He had a great fondness for sardines on crackers, stuffed cabbage (which he lovingly called hunky hand grenades), making turtle soup, and eating BLTs. Had every job that I wanted to have. He took extreme pride in his two grandchildren Harper Lewis (8) and William Stamps Lewis (6) of Dallas for whom he would crow like a rooster on their phone calls. I married the man of my dreams (tall, dark, and handsome) on December 16, 1967 and from that day on I was proud to be Mrs. Charlie Phillips, Grand Diva Of All Things Domestic. He had a life-long mnage a trois with his homemade chili and Gas-X. You may read this and recall a letter from her that touched your heart, tickled your funny bone, or maybe made you say huh?. An obituary for a 84-year-old woman named Renay Mandel Corren is going viral thanks to her son's blunt, shocking, and often hilarious account of her life. He also addedthat if he could tell his Mom anything now he would say, I know you wanted everything private, but sorry, Mom, I wanted you to be recognized for what you were because you were great.. Writing an obituary can be a painful and unexpected event. You know Ill be there in one form or another. If he doesnt leave, brush him for twenty minutes and let him stay. So I guess Im off to the promised land eh? If you knew me, remember me in your own way. Norma was a graduate of Marymount College, Tarrytown, NY, in 1953, where she was president of her class for four years. All four of us learned to use a napkin. He served an electronics apprenticeship at the Phila. Jim was born and immediately dubbed our favorite child to John and Joan Groth in March of 1963. He gave nicknames to all the girls such as tittle mouse, kittycat, bouder bounce, spooker mcdougle and poodle pump., Toni previously served on the board of the Hancock County Library Foundation. My life motto was: Anything for a Laugh. Some of these are so pithy they should be written in stoneand some of them wereto make the funniest tombstones that actually exist. He celebrated with yet another trip to a Cincinnati Reds game. If they are from another country and you have trouble understanding them, learn to listen with an accent., Never say mean things about anybody; they are poor souls to pray for.. Harry traveled extensively. Should You Publish an Obituary Online or In Print? 24 to 48 Hours: Initial Decomposition and Transfer to the Funeral Home. ), He shares his discomfort at the idea of people gawking at me as I lay in a coffin. Instead: Im being cremated and my ashes are being scattered (somewhere). Everyone who remembers Rick is asked to celebrate his life in their own way; telling a He wasnt so bad or What an ass story of their choosing. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you make a donation to Mississippi Gulf Coast Community College (Jeff Davis Campus) for their library. Take magazines youve already read to your doctors office for others to enjoy. Use the opportunity to remind everyone of the fun, full life you lived. They have two children: Charlie and Helen (the well-behaved child Tonis daughter, Hayden deserved to raise.). Finally, the family asks that in honor of Harry that you write your Congressman and ask for the repeal of Day Light Saving Time. He excelled at growing camellias, rebuilding houses after hurricanes, rocking, eradicating mole crickets from his front yard, composting pine needles, living within his means, outsmarting squirrels, never losing a game of competitive sickness, and reading any history book he could get his hands on. How much more blessed can a person be? She liked four letter words as much as she loved her rock garden and trust us she LOVED to weed that garden with us as her helpers, when child labour was legal or so we were told. ), He also wanted his loved ones to honour his memory by requesting Congress to repeal Day Light Savings Time so that the nation could get back on the Lords Time.. Tim Schrandt of Spillville "made his last inappropriate comment" on March 29 and passed away after a "short" battle with cancer at age 63, as per the obit. Published in The Times-Picayune on Aug.12,2016. After all, I have passed away). Give Hot Dog Lady her gold teeth back! The family suggests that something be planted in his memory.. For all of the Electronic Engineers I have worked with, Im sorry, but you have to admit my designs always worked very well, and were well engineered, and I always made you laugh at work. For those of you who are wondering who assisted me in writing this it wasnt my husband, it wasnt my oldest, nor was it my youngest. 1. Mary Jane is now a Fitness Instructor at Golds on Van Winkleyou might be one of her studentssee what a lucky guy I am? Rabblerouser Bill Browns obituary details his lifelong commitment to mischief, all the way up until he roused his last rabble in October 2013. Notable rabble: Right to the end, he would do things like racing to beat other oldsters to empty chairs, and meeting his wife, Ruth, while trying to scare neighbor kids by acting like a barking dog when he threw open the front door, only to find himself barking at the Avon lady. Now, find out about the people who faked their own death. He also jokes thatDisney World and Sea World can dispose of his banned for life file as he is not a problem anymore. He is survived by his wife of 16 years, Pat Entsminger; a son, Aaron Entsminger of Columbus; a brother, Bill (Kathy) Entsminger of Grove City, Ohio; a sister, Lois Courtright of Galloway, Ohio; a sister-in-law, Carol Ferrall of Georgia; four nieces, Kristi Nunamaker, Allison Courtright, Emily Ferrall and Ashley Ferrall; a nephew, Benny Entsminger; his three dogs, Blackey, Shadow and Jezebel; his step mother, Lil Entsminger; a special aunt, Ginny Entsminger; and several cousins and other dear relatives. He was born on December 30, 1931, in McKees Rocks, Pennsylvania. What about Mark Antony's famous "Friends, Romans, countrymen" speech that appears in Julius Caesar? Go to church with a chicken sandwich in your purse. Here are some other popular posts on our website: If you found our collection of funny obituaries helpful, follow Love Lives On on Facebook or subscribe to our YouTube channel for more inspiring ideas to help you celebrate your loved ones life. Some of these are so pithy they should be written in stoneand some of them wereto make the funniest tombstones that actually exist. Toni often remarked that her son, Jean III, was just like his father, her ex-husband, Jean Jr., a statement that haunts her son to this day. Memorial services will be held at 2 p.m. Tuesday, July 9, 2013 at the Life Celebration Reception Center, 129 South Main Street, Mansfield, Ohio 44902. In addition to advocating this life hack, Pink had many pearls of wisdom that she enjoyed sharing with anyone who would listen. As her children we are still trying to figure out which one it was for us (we know she loved us).. Her answer was apparently good enoughalthough she startled the woman who took her form. that were always paired with a grass-stained MSU baseball cap.. Bill was remembered by his family as a man who left a 76 year trail of laughter, generosity, compassion, and wisdom. Brewer requested that donations be made in her memory to: The Salvation Army, 30 Elm Street, Bridgeport, CT 06604 or The Humane Society of the United States, 2100 L Street, NW, Washington, DC 20037.. A man's funny, irreverent and remarkably touching . An example of a eulogy from a son or daughter: " (Insert deceased individual's name) was the kindest, most loving person I've ever known. He was highly proficient at cursing. I remember representing Waynesville in the Miss North Carolina Pageant, and yes, I twirled my baton to the tune of Dixie. She considered Aaron Burrell to be a distant grandson (not distant enough) and had the ability with family pets to usher them toward heaven at an unrivaled pace. Johanna R. Scarpitti, who shared a lovefor the film The Wizard of Oz with her daughter Sue, passed awaysuddenly on August 1, 2014 from a form of lung disease. I was a true Scientist. If you want to, you can look for me in the evening sunset or with the earliest spring daffodils or amongst the flitting and fluttering butterflies. He was rehired as a contract employee in June of 1993, doing the same job that he had been downsized from, and stayed until July of 1995. Dont be late! A variety of nieces and nephews with mediocre upbringing would complete the list of those left to embellish his memory. My regret is that I felt invincible when young and smoked cigarettes when I knew they were bad for me. An evocation of the first . Mary Agnes Mullaney, affectionately known as Pink, passed away on September 1, 2013 at 85 years old. Cry at the consecration, every time. How to help children cope with grief after the loss of a family member. You know Ill be there in one form or another. His spirit was released from his worn out shell of a body and is now exploring the universe. Go to a nursing home and kiss everyone. I died of Throat Cancer on July 10th 2012. He loved his wife, Agnes Bargo Brownley, who preceded him in death in 1990. She leaves behind a very dysfunctional family that she was very proud of. Also preceding Big Al in death were his older siblings: William Franklin Brownley Jr., Robert Fauntleroy Brownley, Richard Leonard Brownley, Virginia Lee Brownley Barnes, and Louise Beverly Brownley Kindle. Crafted by her favourite child son Jean, and daughter,Hayden, the obituary joked aboutthe possibility that their mother may have had illegitimate children, recounted an ex-husband from whom it should not be difficult to imagine the multiple reasons for their divorce, and her collection of overdue library books (with her last words being: Tell them the check is in the mail). Mrs Brewer grew up in Fairfield and moved from Old Saybrook, CT and many other cities across the country to return here. He instructs everyone who wants to remember him to do an unexpected act of kindness for some less fortunate soul.. I loved her more than I have words to express. Jonathan Cape; 17.99. This bruuuuuutal takedown of one hellish mamaw: Paragraph 1: ok Paragraph 2: ok Paragraph 3: wait Paragraph 4: OH . She will be incredibly missed by all who knew her [a] whole bunch. Interment will be at the convenience of the family. He is stress-free and at peace. My little dog Scarlett died Sept. 2013, and there really are no words to describe what a total destresser Scarlett was for me. Consider: Mary Agnes Mullaney (you probably knew her as Pink) who entered eternal life on Sunday, September 1, 2013. He took great pride in stocking their tool boxes. It hurts me to admit it but I, Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away. 4oz. Hayden Hoffman married Stephen Hoffman of Charleston, WV. For a single mom's obituary, you can focus on her kids and the rest of her family just as you would for any married woman. Funny obituaries help many find a way to laugh during tough times. Saturday, August 27 th, 9.30am to 11.30am - in-person, at Semiahmoo House, 15306 24 th Ave, Surrey. To quote Winston Churchill: He was a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.. The obituary finishes with details about the theme free funeral service that Stamps wanted. He promptly retired. He chose this path because of Hollywood propaganda to which he succumbed as a child during WWII, and his cousin Ella who joined the corps in 1943. Her memorial service will begin at 11:00 a.m. (another true statement.) I will miss seeing my sweetest grandchildren; Caitlin, Megan, Joel, Issac, Mason, Rachel, Annie, Emma, Harrison, Clark, Choe, Orion, Griffin grow up to be the incredible people they are meant to be. In an interview with Connecticut Power, Brewers daughter Donna, said this joke was typical Mom. She always had stories, many of which were not true, but thought were funny.. All jokes aside, the obituary ends with a heartfelt, He will be greatly missed.. Instead of flowers, Walt would hope that you will do an unexpected and unsolicited act of kindness for some poor unfortunate soul in his name.. He can likely be found forwarding tasteless internet jokes (check your spam folder, but dont open these at work). Due to multiple, anonymous Mothers Day cards which arrived each May, the children suspect there were other siblings but that has never been verified. He started his own contract business and worked at Litho Tech Ltd. from 1998 till 1999. However, The Best of Myles, an anthology of satirical columns he wrote for the Irish Times, has been a lighthouse for me since the early 70s, and remains the funniest book I've ever read. Rick loved dogs. By The New York Times. He took pride in his time served in the Navy on the USS San Marcos during the Korean War, often waxing nostalgia that the worst meal hed ever eaten was Shit on a Shingle (creamed chipped beef on toast). It even included a brief anecdote about her unique Woodstock experience: I spent the whole next morning picking up garbage because I felt bad about leaving a big mess. However, the most entertaining part of her obituary is in reference to her landing at Rolling Stone: As Ms. Fier told friends, she had no firm direction after college and might well have attended law school if she had not joined Rolling Stone, where getting a job in the early 1970s required little more than a certain alignment in the stars.