You can try being the life of the party with one of these: Be careful joking with women. If you see me smiling its because Im thinking of doing something bad. Masturbation is like procrastinationits all good fun until you realize youre just fucking yourself. Why dont we see elephants hiding in trees? With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Did I Ask animated GIFs to your conversations. Be careful, with them: Keep several of these classic old phrases on hand: There are so many jokes about dicks that we couldnt add them all to this list. A deodor-ant. Explanation: Kleptomaniacs (people with the impulse to steal) take things literally because they literally take things. While theres no guaranteed way to come up with the perfect comeback at the moment, there are a few witty responses that will put the other person in their place. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? What do you call a teenage girl who doesnt masturbate? Where are average things manufactured? What should you say when someone says, Who asked?. Here's your ultimate list of 100 plus why jokes and puns that is sure to tickle your ribs. But these clever jokes offer something special: In addition to making others laugh, they make you sound smart. All Rights Reserved. Im taking this shit to a whole new level. Thats why Ive put together this list of 32+ witty comebacks for who asked and did I ask. I hope they help you the next time someone asks you this question! This is another funny response that makes the question asker seem dumb for not asking for your opinion on the subject in the first place. On February 4th, 2011, Neogaf user Kinyou [4] made a post in which they wrote that they could not get the line "I never asked for this" out of their head. Why do oranges wear sunscreen? A tomato in an elevator. Later they get together. Check out these other why did the chicken cross the road? jokes for more laughs. Its the sound of you not talkingfor once. Your job still sucks. This response works best if the question was asked rudely. How do celebrities stay cool? Will glass coffins be a success? Otherwise, close the page now. A pork chop. What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. If you are looking for a complete list of Cortana commands, check out this page . 37. 2.) But we both know that's not why you're here So, another option is to fire back with your own insult. When do we want them? Question and Answer Jokes What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? When When When When When When When. and our What do you call balls on your chin? "Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. Why having fun with a prostitute is like a bungee jumping? This had the gang in the orchestra pit howling. As you can see, there are plenty of comebacks for who asked, nobody cares, etc. 25. What's the best-smelling insect? What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Some annoying people ask, Who asked? after you tell a story. Cookie Notice Here's a list of 55 . You might love your life, but I think it just wants to be friends. Explanation: Youd have to be insane to jump off a bridge and into the Seine, the river that runs through Paris. 43. Someone complimented my parking today! 24. You think youre funny, but youre snot!. 1. Dont forget to browse these biology jokes that really cell themselves. "Make me one with everything." 2. Cookie Notice Now that youve learned 101 new short jokes to share with your friends, check out these classic Laffy Taffy jokes that will sweeten everyones day. It is used in two parts, (when) which is used when some tells you something irrelevant, then when they continue you say did i ask? Get out of here! shouts the bartender. What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? Then it hit me. What did one plate say to the other plate? Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus? Some might even make your eyes roll. Explanation: Say it to the opening of Beethovens Fifth Symphony, and youll get the joke. If a moldy dIck had a face, it would have yours . Would you rather have a million bucks, or [insert name]s head full of nickels? xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); When did I ask. Thats because when Marx was a little boy, he hated school. No? You look drunk. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. After all, roses may be red, violets may be blue, but one thing's for surewe've got the all-time greatest Valentine's jokes for you! Now that youve cackled your way through these clever jokes, get your little ones in on the fun with these short jokes for kids. I said you look fat in those pants. Explanation: By themselves, the musical notes C, E-flat, and G are simply tones, neither major nor minor. Cereal pleasure to meet you! 9. 11. We recommend our users to update the browser. 1Forrest1. I took a poop in the elevator. You could read it as seriously or as a joke didnt walk into the bar. If this made you roll your eyes, just wait until you read some of these dad jokes. Then, use one of the above witty comebacks to shut them down! When did I ask - slang Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry. She choked. You know there's no official training for trash collectors? What did the left eye say to the right eye? 137 of the Best Jokes for Kids. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. What did prehistoric animals get instead of blisters? 7. 3. Also if I asked you wouldn't be talking. Whats the difference between your job and a dead hooker? Me: *to the person I was talking to* The man. Many are one-liners so you can remember them to share and share again, and your kids can retell them to their friends too, maybe even years later. "The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.". He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled cheese." Explanation: Time is relative, especially to the entity that invented it. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!" Why is England the wettest country? Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. By the CBC Kids team August 15, 2017 | Last Updated April 08, 2022. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? What did the pirate say when he turned 80? What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? It is used in two parts, (when) which is used when some tells you something irrelevant, then when they continue you say did i ask? Well-armed. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. You're not completely useless. If someone ever asks you who asked you, have one of these good comebacks for who asked ready to roll. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay? Later on, the girl is yelling, Cheese cheese, tomato tomato! The younger brother says, Stop making sandwiches! Read up on more bar jokes that are hilariously funny. It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or funny response. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. Bison. These funny jokes will help you turn your frown upside-down. When he thinks he's "him" but he's really just another "he" som original - . He pasta-way. I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy and my face smashes right into the mirror. More jokes about: church, men, money, priest, wife. Just stare blankly at the person who asked you that and say nothing. Gardening Jokes + Printable Cards. Last updated: Feb 09, 2023 Jokes and Riddles For Kids and Adults to Solve. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? Get ready to grab your sides because they are about to hurt from all the laughter!These jokes and riddles for kids are best enjoyed and shared with loved ones. person one: I went out to dinner with my family . Here are some witty comebacks to Did I ask?: The best response to did I ask is to remain calm and try not to overreact. The box a penis comes in. If sex is a pain in the ass, then youre doing it wrong . Con Explanation: The setup of the joke calls for a To who? response, in which To is standing in for a person. I guess it's just not in the cards for me. That's why we've rounded up that set of (clean) jokes for adults and kids alike that will have the whole family laughing. Because he was always spotted. You know youve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. If you see me laughing, its because I already have. Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". Watch popular content from the following creators: Aimzy(@aimzygg), jordan(@jjsshenanigans), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), jamal(@jamallxoxo), camille ;)(@111camillee), Jafiki(@jafiki), (@user1118012706685), Bacon vs Emos on this acc(@savage.bacon68) . 18. One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep sh*t. Why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Knock knock. Those of you who think you know it all are really annoying to those of us who do. When When When When When. It is usually said in response to someone offering an un-asked-for opinion or to someone who interjected into a conversation they were not a part of. For more information, please see our Keep the tip. How did the pig get to the hogspital? Pilgrims. How do you organize a space party? They've kept in touch after all these years. "Catch up!". Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? What washes up on very small beaches? Whos there? Sucka. I didnt ask you for a response and yet you gave one. What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college? Ivana fuck your brains out. These office jokes are so funny, they'll make your day better or at least they'll take you away from what you're working on for a few minutes. and our On June 15th, 2011, Neogaf [5] user Dizzy-4U used the line as a humorous response in a thread. 86 Funny Why Did The. Theyre used to eating nuts. They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. Men are like public toilets the good ones are taken and the rest are full of crap. My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyones hair. They are similar to the phrase "shut up"and may be considered rude to use. Dress her up as an altar boy. Why is being in the military like a blow-job? The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. Knock-Knock Jokes. How do you eat a squirrel? How much space will free up in the EU after Brexit? How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? 3. How do you make holy water? By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. Explanation: A Buddhist whos one with everything is connected to the universe. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Otherwise, have some fun: Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. Explanation: Even on an island of one, religion can be a tricky issue. What do you call a pudgy psychic? Hey, havent we metaphor? Why do bees have sticky hair? So they don't peel. Wheeeee! If idiots grew on trees, this place would be an orchard. What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? But grammatically speaking, whom is the object of the verb to., If Ive told you n times, Ive told you n+1 times. The best response to who asked is to stay calm and do your best not to overreact. If they ask, "Who asked?" What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? In any case, a witty comeback will put the other person in their place and let them know that youre not going to take their crap. Because you should never drink and derive. With a mon-key. Did something bad happen to you, or are you just naturally this terrible of a person? If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Between you and me, something smells. Because the P is silent! Why are teddy bears never hungry? Hey, just warning you: These lolable jokes should only be told among those who will accept your weird sense of humor: Whos there? A four-chin teller. "What's the good news?". Who asked / nobody asked gained popularity in reaction images in . What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? What did one hat say to the other? Cause your face looks kind of funky. Earbuds. Some mornings I wake up grumpy, on others I let her sleep in. Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? Whenever someone has a health problem or feels like" But hilarious jokes never go out of style. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. The Satisfactory. I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? Last Updated: December 5th 2022. Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? What do you call a hippie's wife? Exaggerations have become an epidemic. Are you an adult? 48. Get ready to laugh with this Valentine's-themed joke: How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine? Because he's got little legs. Why do we like volcanoes? xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); Robin. (stare them for a few seconds and continue with your story). Even young children enjoy the structure of joke-telling; the setup, the unexpected punchline, then laughing out loud together! The sooner I shoot you, the sooner Ill get out of jail for it. How did the hipster burn his mouth? 0 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from BriannaPlayz: Escaping 100 Layers of ICE vs Crayons! What do boobs and toys have in common? Hmmm, I guess you can see how much I care over there (then point to an empty hallway or somethinh similar) then grin. Learn about the best baby names out of Japan. Because it's not good to drink and derive. Oh, I didnt tell you? What do you call the useless piece of skin on a willy? Have you ever started to tell a joke only to forget the punchline halfway through? Criminally Funny Lawyer Jokes. If you loved this, youll get a kick out of these dog puns. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { Aye matey. Laughter is infectious. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Knock Knock! They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts already. Waiter! You can negotiate with a terrorist. Whats warm, wet, and pink? We recommend our users to update the browser. When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Stickers 5 Results Buy any 4 and get 25% off. You can drop them off anywhere. I swear I wasnt lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth again. A cocker-poodle boo. Because the queen reigned there for decades. Whats red and moves up and down? What is the square root of 69? What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? No, but I could tell you needed my help. This often diffuses the situation and shows that you are not bothered by the insult. well, almost never! This response is funny because it means nothing but will likely leave the question asker dumbfounded and therefore making them look dumb to everyone else. Dude, your dicks hanging out. You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Your Mom. King Henry the Second who? "Whaddya mean?" Whether youre in the middle of a heated argument or simply trying to have a conversation, it can be incredibly frustrating when the other person responds with a flippant did I ask?. The third guy ducks. Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest. 5. Your mom sure seemed to care last night. What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other? Oh, no. What did one pig say to the other on Valentine's Day? Losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike. Totally shocked. The husband, surprised, pulls his out. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? What do a guy and a car have in common? What did the left eye say to the right eye? A $100 bill. Also, sometimes saying nothing is the right response. But sometimes they even outdo us adults. I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. He didn't have the guts to ask anyone. Youre late! she yells. How does an octopus go into battle? Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. Why arent koalas actual bears? Youre getting mayo all over my bed!, Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. What did the monster eat after it had its teeth taken out? A pork chop. When you have an app or website open in Chrome, ask Google Assistant to help you complete tasks, like finding a video to watch or searching for a message. Broomates. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? ", Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball? What do you call a fake noodle? Because theyre really good at it. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? 4. 4. What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes? They dont actually want to know if they asked you. In a hambulance. What did one say to the other? Christian Bale. We have some cool puns to add to your collection: Party time always gives us a reason to laugh. messedupcole18 3 yr. ago. Explanation: A rhetorical question is one thats asked in order to make a point but doesnt require an answer. Youre dead if the rubber breaks. What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Fish Lunch Box Jokes + Printable Cards. Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player. A submarine. Here's the URL for this Tweet. Call and tell her about it. Here are over a dozen irreverent history jokes to share with your favorite history teacher or students. The infantry. Some are dead. All while making the question asker look dumb. Where does Batman go to the bathroom? Youd better be. There just arent as many people who believe it. You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Rude People. I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy and my face smashes right into the mirror. What do you call a pig that does karate? Hes been going through some shit. Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? How did the hipster burn his mouth? Person 1: Knock-knock. 10. A pouch potato. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. Read more about Martin here. Dinner's on me. When did I ask? dang i didnt know that ur so dumb u dont know the difference between answering and telling. After all, its tempting to put people in their place when theyre being needlessly rude, especially if you think theyre wrong. 1. If you dont believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut. Easter Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. Strong people dont put others down. Because they're always stuffed. Right where you left it. Kid: who asked? They always take things literally. This one is funny because it implies that you werent paying attention to the question asker at all and didnt even realize they were talking to you when they asked did I ask you?. Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? What did the card say when he didn't end up getting through the job interview? We all wish that at the moment you could have some great response. Elementree school. What did one Christmas tree say to another? Become the master of pun by memorizing some of these why jokes. Ask Google Assistant to go to a site in the Chrome app. Well-armed. There's no menuyou get what you deserve. Why does bread take so long to digest? He ate the pizza before it was cool. Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? Why are YOU shaking? Just be careful: You can send some of these memes as a message to the right person: Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild? They have many fans. Whats the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? The actor is still close with some of her onscreen family. } Whos there? However, if you are sure about yourself and her reaction, try one of these: There are a lot of stupid jokes among good ones. Because they cantaloupe. Her mom responded, Maria, they just wanted to see your panties! Maria replied, See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!. This one is both funny and clever because at first, it seems like a strange response but then it becomes clear that you are calling the question asker dumb. Example of When did I ask? Originally Published: May 29, 2019 When kids want to laugh, they rarely turn to their math homework for jokes. .css-g0owdm{display:block;font-family:Memphis,Georgia,Times,Serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.625rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-g0owdm:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 61.25rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}Tom Selleck Reunites with Former Co-Star, 21 Shows to Watch If You Like Yellowstone, 'WoF' Fans Say This Is the Biggest Choke on Show, St. Patricks Day Trivia Questions and Answers, Adam Sandler's Wife Jackie Shuts Down Red Carpet, The Reason Hoda Kotb Hasnt Been on the Today Show, Kelsea Ballerini Fans Lose It Amid Career News, The True History Behind St. Patrick's Day, St. Patrick's Day Movies to Feel Extra Lucky. Privacy Policy. You put a little boogie in it. Not all men are annoying. Because they taste funny. How do you stop a bull from charging? If a dove is the bird of peace, then is a swallow the bird of love? 1. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? Ate something. What do you call a fake noodle? Id be fine if there werent so much blood in my alcohol system. I love every bone in your body, especially mine. What did the left eye say to the right eye? These wisecracks are seriously hysterical. 125 best Dad jokes 2020: cringeworthy, funny and downright bad jokes that will make you laugh Make your friends and family cringe with these god-awful jokes By Finlay Greig 17th Jun 2020,.